top of page

Forgiveness; The Other "F" Word

Forgiveness is huge. I frequently tell clients that Forgiveness is the key to freedom. Well, dagnabit! I realized that I need to do my own forgiveness. How do I know, you ask? My body told me so.

It started a few weeks ago when I was facilitating a weekend retreat in Northern California. The second night of the retreat I started urinating blood and the act was painful. This started a series of tests once I got back home, which continue today. As a result of one doctor’s visit, there as a growth or a tumor in my bladder. A biopsy was scheduled, and we’ll move on from there.

Being the Minister of Spiritual Transformation that I am, I began to research the metaphysical, mental, and spiritual causes of issues regarding the bladder, specifically, my bladder.

This is what I found. From Louise Hay’s book, Heal Your Body: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Metaphysical Way to Overcome Them.

Bladder Problems: “Anxiety. Holding on to old ideas. Fear of letting go. (And here’s the one that shook me) Being Pissed Off.” Damn! Who knew? My body knew.

Then from Lise Bourbeau’s book entitled; Your Body is Telling You: Love Yourself. This is what she has to say about bladder issues.

“As bodily fluids are linked to the emotional body, or the body of desires, bladder disorders are linked with the capacity to delay gratification. If the disorder prevents or impedes urination, it indicates that you rigidly control your desires and are afraid to let them out. What!? Who, me? Hanging on to the desire to shine and share more of me? Yes, me.

Here’s the thing. All of this came up as I was starting to look for blocks to my prosperity. I’m doing alright and, I desire more. I desire to be wealthy. Technically, there is no reason why I shouldn’t be experiencing all that I desire in my life. In fact, there’s no reason why any of us shouldn’t be experiencing our best life we can imagine. However, there has been a major block to my lavish, unfailing abundance. What is this block. Well, my body is telling me that is my hanging on to past crap – old ideas – and the fear of letting go and then hanging on to my desires. And deep inside I am pissed off about all of that and the stuff that happened in the past.

This is where forgiveness comes into play. In the book The Way of Mastery by, the Santi Christo Foundation, we read, “Forgiveness is the bridge to the Soul of your brother and sister. We are all connected, and forgiveness allows our Souls to join to each other.

Forgiveness is an act of self-love. In the above-mentioned book, The Way of Mastery, it is written “You’re going to have become very, very divinely selfish. You’re going to have to become so selfish that you will not tolerate judgement in yourself – of anyone or anything.” Forgiveness is all about yourself.

So, I mustered up the courage and dove in to do the deep work. People, let me tell you, this has not been easy. As brilliant as I am, lol, I didn’t want to feel the emotion that I knew would come once I really committed to healing this. But I did it.

The process I give to clients I realized I hadn’t done for myself in a long time. Can we say Meta-Physician, heal thyself? For two days straight I surrendered to the process. I wrote, I cried, I sobbed, I slept. I slept because this wore me out. But I can tell you that I am much lighter within my being. And I have evidence that it is working. The evidence was by way of my son, who hasn’t really spoken to me in a little over two years. He reached out to me to say, “Pops, we need to heal this.”